Touch the Sky
by SherLoKitty'd
Summary: Sick and tired of having her life dictated to, Merida takes off by herself in order to seek some freedom and escape from her impending betrothal. The wisps lead her to the home of Radagast and ultimately to a certain company of dwarves, where Merida finds herself falling for the most unlikely of suitors... Merida/Kili. Kind of AU.


_Hello, darlings! This is something that I've wanted to write for some time now. I know I said I was going to do a Kili/OC but hey ho. Hope you enjoy! _

Summary: Sick and tired of having her life dictated to, Merida takes off by herself in order to seek some freedom and escape from her impending betrothal. The wisps lead her to the home of Radagast and ultimately to a certain company of dwarves, where Merida finds herself falling for the most unlikely of suitors... Merida/Kili. Kind of AU.

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**Touch the Sky **

**Chapter One :: Misty Mountains Sing and Beckon **

"_You want to fix me, push me into your fantasy  
You try to give me, sell me a new personality  
You try to lift me, I don't get better  
What's making you happy is making me sadder  
In your golden cage, all I feel is strange  
In your perfect world, so strange  
I feel so absurd in this life..." _

**Tokio Hotel & Kerli, "Strange"**

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Princess Merida of Dun Broch lounged restlessly upon the cushioned window seat in her bedroom, her elbows leant on the stone sill and her chin resting on her hands as she gazed longingly out at the landscape stretched out before her. The evening breeze which drifted through the open window was pleasantly warm. It was a very beautiful sunny summer's evening out there. It seemed as though it was calling out to her, enticing her to go out and be part of it. But just like almost every other night of Merida's life, it was not destined for her to enjoy.

From behind her Merida could hear her mother, Elinor, flitting about the room, busily tidying and attending to one thing and another just as the ever-efficient queen did every night before seeing her daughter off to bed. Which was all very necessary; there were many little details to arrange in the young princess's everyday life. Elinor would see to it that Merida was where she needed to be and when she needed to be.

"I should get to bed in good time tonight if I were you, Merida," said her mother pointedly. "You haven't forgotten that the clans are arriving tomorrow?"

"As if I _could _forget," Merida muttered in reply, a frown marring her face at the thought.

But her focus quickly drifted back to the outside world. She watched a flock of small birds, their graceful forms black against the slowly-changing sky, fly as one over the green expanse of forest, towards the purplish misty mountains on the horizon, and Merida could not help but feel a deep twinge of envy. She dearly wished sometimes that she could fly away just as freely. Anything to escape this looming betrothal.

She knew her mother would soon start drilling her on how she should behave tomorrow. For some reason tonight, she just couldn't bear to hear such things; to think about who she was – who she _must _be – as it was such a far cry from who she longed to be.

"Come away from the window!" Elinor called over to her. "A princess does _not_ stand by the window in just her under-dress where anyone can see her!"

Merida reluctantly shut the window but still continued to peer out. She hated being addressed by her official title. It made her feel like a detached entity than a living breathing person. And that was precisely what she longed to be more than anything else: a real person with a chance to lead a real life and experience real things – things of her _own_ choosing for once. Constantly being referred to as 'Princess' couldn't have made her feel more abnormal…or more imprisoned.

"Who's 'anyone'?" she asked mutinously. "Who's going to see me? Who's even going to care?"

But she stopped short at the 'Don't-Argue-With-Me' glare that her mother was currently favouring her with and she let out a heavy sigh. Choosing to simply ignore her daughter's last remarks, Elinor merely perched herself neatly on a chair opposite Merida and looked at her expectantly.

As predicted, she said, "Now if you don't mind, we'll go over your schedule for tomorrow when the Lords come..."

"Of course I would mind," replied Merida moodily. "I _always _mind," she added in a whisper to herself.

She more than minded. In fact, she _hated_ it. She knew exactly how it was going to be tomorrow at the gathering. The measured words, the forced, bland smiles, the carefully suppressed feelings...all leading up to this feigned image of perfection her mother forced her to display. The utter falsity of it all.

"Now," Elinor continued, business-like once more, "I cannot stress enough the importance of exercising your utmost decorum and propriety during the Lords' visit. For starters, we will need to do something about your personal appearance. You cannot be seen receiving your potential husband looking like something the cat's dragged in, " she added, gesturing at her daughter's tangled frenzy of crimson curls and calloused, slightly grubby hands. "Hardly the proper conduct of a princess – "

"And I suppose a princess just does what she's told?" Merida burst out loudly, throwing up her hands in frustration.

"Merida, how many times do I have to say this to you? A princess does not raise her voice," said Elinor sternly before her expression lightened as she continued. "Now, perhaps we can discuss about what you'll be wearing..." She rose from her seat and ventured towards the wardrobe on the other side of the room as she spoke.

Merida didn't reply, only kept her gaze glued to the distant mountains out of the window. There was a whole world just waking up and coming alive out there, waiting to be explored whilst those around her were preparing to cosily bundle her off to sleep. Something within her heart filled with acute sadness that swiftly turned to anger at the thought. She was _not_ a fine porcelain doll, made to trot out when its convenience suited and tucked away back on the shelf when no longer needed; a pretty ornament for all and sundry to look at and feel better knowing it was there when it was required. She was so much more than that...she was a _human being_ with _feelings_.

Completely oblivious to her daughter's thoughts, the queen soon returned to her, holding out the outfit she had been seeking.

"This is the dress which I have selected for you to wear..."

Merida took one look at the teal-coloured dress with its ridiculously high collar and couldn't help but roll her eyes at the sight. It was not abhorrent to look at as such but it looked so _restrictive, _so _formal_... It just wasn't..._her._ She knew instantly that she wouldn't be comfortable in it at all. She made a face of disgust when she spied the corset. How was she supposed to move or even breathe?

Merida felt a sudden swoop of anger inside once again that she didn't even have any control or input over what she would wear of all things. It was yet another aspect of her life which made her feel so imprisoned. With an exasperated sigh, she turned away from her mother.

"It's not fair," she huffed, for what must have been the thousandth time ever since she had heard this dreaded news about the other clans presenting their sons as suitors for her hand in marriage. "Why must everything be so...so..._proper? _Why can't we simply be _real?_"

The older woman considered her daughter carefully, trying to remain composed before answering. "Real is not meant for people like me and you. You live above it. It's your duty. Merida, this is what you've been preparing for your whole life - "

"No, it's what _you've _been preparing me for my whole life!" the princess corrected. "You haven't once asked me how I feel about _any_ of this! Have you ever bothered to ask me what my dreams are? No. I dream about – about freedom! Adventure and excitement! Where I can be myself and don't have to follow the rules all the time..."

Elinor tutted impatiently at this.

"Och, Merida, stop being so dramatic and childish," she said dismissively. She went and patted the bedspread and added in a more soothing tone, "Here...come sit on the bed while we discuss tomorrow's schedule..."

Merida's face fell, although she knew she shouldn't be surprised by this response. What was the use in trying to reason with her mother? She never listened anyway. Shoulders slumping, the young monarch did as she was told without a word, sitting on the four-poster bed, swinging her legs under the open covers that Elinor quickly tucked in around her.

"Very good..." her mother said approvingly, "Now...first thing tomorrow, you will need to breakfast early...followed by the meeting with the three Lords...from there on, you will show them..."

Queen Elinor's voice seemed to blend into one single monotonous drone like a drill, as she recited about speeches, banquets and the organisation of the games...one oppressive thing after another. Merida set her jaw and closed her eyes, taking slow, even breaths, willing herself to remain calm. And still her mother went on and on and on... When would it ever end? She was sick and tired of having her life dictated to. She was sick and tired of pretending to be who she wasn't...

She balled her hands into fists on the bedspread. But Merida had had enough. Her frustration which had been broiling and bubbling beneath the surface over the years like lava was threatening to erupt. And erupt it did like an almighty volcano.

Head pounding, eyes streaming with hot tears, she yelled, "Ugh, STOP! STOP IT! NO MORE! _I can't take it anymore!"_

Elinor ceased talking immediately. Though she was clearly shocked by the sudden outburst, she still managed to keep her wits about her.

"Merida – ?" she started, holding out a hand which was meant to comfort the obviously distraught young woman.

"A princess does not do _this. _A princess does not say _that..._" Merida reeled off, "Be there, feel this, be like _this -_ it's _not_ me. None of it's _ever_ me! It's always want _you_ want!" she exploded, gesturing in agitation. "You can't _make_ me go through with this!"

"_Merida!"_ Elinor called more forcefully, hoping her harsher tone would shock the girl out of her frenzied outburst.

But Merida would not be silenced. She had been too long choked in repression, living under too much stress, too much pressure to be something she wasn't. Too much frustration and pent up painful emotions as she longed for something she was likely never to have.

Tears streaming silently down her cheeks, running her fingers feverishly through her untamed hair, Merida murmured quietly but earnestly, "I am a _person, not_ just a princess."

"Merida, please try to control yourself," Elinor told her, "I honestly don't know why you're reacting this way. It's marriage, it's not the end of the world."

"Uugh!" Merida growled in aggravation, throwing off the bed covers and storming across the room. "What's the point? You just don't _listen..._"

"Where are you going?" Elinor demanded, staring at her.

"Anywhere," the redhead retorted, yanking her bedroom door open. "Anywhere that's far away from _you!_ "

"Merida, don't you dare walk away from me, young lady!" were the last words she heard her mother shout before she slammed the door closed behind her.

Merida decided that she needed some fresh air to help clear her head and vent her frustrations. Fuming, she ran down the stairs, muttering curses non-stop under her breath and stalked out to the stables. She swung herself around the doorpost and kicked at a nearby bucket of oats, knocking it over in her fury, startling her beloved horse, Angus.

Taking a few steadying breaths, she went to pat his neck and run a hand over his velvety muzzle.

"Sorry, Angus," she murmured in apology, wrapping her arms around the shire's neck and burying her face in his dark gleaming coat as she let her tears continue to fall silently. "But I just can't do this..."

Once she had calmed somewhat, she slid down to perch herself on the now upturned bucket, gazing wistfully out at the countryside surrounding the village.

She had to admit that she now felt quite embarrassed at her childish outcry. Neurotic bouts of tears just weren't in her nature. But really...perhaps she _shouldn't_ feel ashamed. Why _should_ she control her emotions? She already had no control over anything else.

She thought of tomorrow and the impending gathering of the clans, and felt dread grow in the pit of her stomach. She wasn't ready for marriage. At least, not yet. Why did her mother not understand that?

Queen Elinor's words echoed in her mind. _Marriage is not the end of the world. _But it _would_ be the end of _her _world as she knew it. Her life would be over before it had even begun. Once she was married, that would be _it_. She would be expected to be on her best behaviour at all times. It would be like living her life continuously in a cage, just one oppressive commitment after another. She could just imagine the type of suitor her mother would have lined up for her too; some pompous show-off whose idea that a wife's only purpose was to give him children or to be some kind of trophy. _Ugh. _

Merida wanted to live her life first and experience some freedom before she became manacled to marriage. It wasn't that she was against the whole idea of it, but _if _she was to marry at all, she wanted it to be to someone of her own choosing. It would be to someone who loved her for _who _she was, not _what _she was.

Still, her mind and heart screamed that it must be nice, heavenly even, to be with a man because he had captured her heart; to enjoy his softly spoken words and his kisses in the night because they made her stomach flutter and her breath still in her throat…to marry a man because she was in love with him. But from a young age her mother had cautioned her against such frivolous notions. Love was all well and good, and certainly desirable within a union. After all, it was clear that Elinor was quite thoroughly in love with her father, Fergus. Nevertheless, marriage for love was for the masses. For their family, for _her_, marriage with love was a bonus, something to hope for but not necessarily to expect.

She doubted any of the potential suitors would actually _really_ love her – only the 'her' she would be made to play – and because she was to be the future queen.

Well, not any more. She was no longer going to sit back and watch her mother plan out her whole future for her, so that she could be Mrs. Pompous Show-Off.

"Michty me, Angus," she muttered, "I swear this isn't going to happen. Not if I have any say in it."

Merida gazed out once more at the stretch of green forest and the mountains beyond it. They looked so inviting, so alluring. How wonderful it would be if she could just go out, and ride and ride without stopping, and never look back.

She supposed, in a way, that from the outside looking in, her life was enviable and she wouldn't deny that there were certain privileges to being a royal. But looking out, she doubted if the people of Dun Broch knew the lonely and isolated life she had to lead, any of those happy people out there would swap places with her if given all the world in exchange. Outside of her family, Merida did not have any real friends (not unless she counted Angus).

The redhead sighed. What she wouldn't give just for once to go out there into the wide world and have her very own adventure, and not have to worry about keeping her feelings bottled up at all times. What had her mother said? That it wasn't for her.

_But why not?_ her heart sadly questioned. For _so _long - well, _forever, _really - she had been living through suffocating rules, always looking out at life but never living it. When was it going to be her turn at experiencing something real? She wasn't about to accept 'never' as an answer.

An idea sparked in Merida's brain. She straightened up where she sat on the bucket, biting her lip in thought as her blue eyes followed the dark line of hills beyond the village. It suddenly became clear in her heart and mind what she needed to do. For the first time in her life, _she_ was about to take control... She wasn't about to sit back and let her life be dictated to her by her mother. This was the day that shewould change her own fate...

Turning away from the stables, Merida strode with purpose across the yard and back inside the castle. Hurrying back up to her bedroom, she was relieved to find that Elinor wasn't there. She pulled open her wardrobe, shoving aside that monstrosity of a dress, and changed back into her usual, preferred dark green outfit. Redressing quickly, she grabbed a small holdall and her trusty bow and quiver of arrows, securing the strap around her body so that it left her arms free.

Checking that the coast was clear, she managed to sneak back down through to the kitchen unseen (she had had many years of practice of this) where she filled her holdall with an assortment of fruit and cakes – small food items which would be light enough for her to carry without weighing her down too much. Once she was satisfied she had enough provisions, Merida scurried back out to the stable and quickly mounted Angus.

"Come on, let's go, Angus," she whispered to her faithful steed, nudging her heels at his sides, and without allowing herself the time to think too long or hard about what she was about to do, Merida took off on her usual route into the forest that she knew so well like the back of her own hand.

Feeling exhilarated at her own daring, Merida urged Angus to gallop faster. With the wind in her hair and the evening sun warm on her face...the whole world ahead of her... Oh, it felt wonderful! She was finally free! Out here in the wild outdoors, _this _was where she truly belonged. Out here, on those precious few days where she _was _allowed to be herself, she felt more at home than she ever did in the castle. Out here, she had learned to ride, perfect her archery skills, to hunt and forage – everything that was, according to Elinor, unbecoming of a lady.

She thought of her father, King Fergus, and of the mischievous little triplets and felt a dart of guilt hit her. _But no_, she told herself firmly, pushing it to the back of her mind, _there's no backing out now..._ She wasn't doing this out of spite, to deliberately hurt her family. She had to do it for _herself._

Heart racing with adrenaline and pure excitement at what she was about to embark on, Princess Merida of the clan Dun Broch rode deeper and further into the forest...much further than she had ever gone before...

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_So I hope you liked this first chapter, my darling ones! Please review if you did. But please go easy, this is the first crossover I've ever written :) Until next time! Xx _


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